


This is the worthwhile fight

by lovedyouinsecret



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Not a SongFic though, title is a Taylor Swift lyric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-06-07 20:38:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15227424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovedyouinsecret/pseuds/lovedyouinsecret
Summary: Him.Of course it was him.Remus feels insignificant and only one person can talk him out of it.





	This is the worthwhile fight

**Author's Note:**

> Here are some notes that might help with the setting:  
> \- This is set quite some time after The Prank.  
> \- I picture it to be around October or something of their sixth year  
> \- Sirius has already moved in with James.  
> \- Lily and Severus are no longer friends.  
> Also big thank you for clicking on this despite the bad summary!

Him.  
Of course it was him.  
The others had known better than to follow Remus. They’d known he needed some time. After hearing that Snape had told Lily about Remus’s ‘furry little secret’, all he could do was run. She knew already, of course. She was far too bright and too loving not to have figured it out. But still, the sole idea that Snape had told anyone was enough to make him flee. He should be angry at the sound of the footsteps. But as he heard the soft voice, he realised he could never be angry.

“Moony?” Sirius asked tentatively. “Can I come up?” The words had barely let his mouth and Sirius was already at the top of the stairs.

Remus found himself smiling despite the painful thoughts wreaking havoc in his brain. For some reason, Remus could only think of it as endearing when Sirius was being impatient. He always acted before he thought. The smile was replaced with a sick feeling in his stomach as Remus recalled the other time Sirius hadn’t thought things through.  
_No! Stop those thoughts. That should be in the past. They’d talked about this. He wasn’t going to let this ruin their friendship anymore._  
Before Remus could continue his panicked thoughts, Sirius sat down next to him. He put his arms around the taller boy and nestled his head in the crook of his shoulder. This small display of love, that Sirius showed so easily when it came to his friends, finally pushed Remus over the edge. Slowly, tears started to trickle from his eyes.

“Oh no, Rem. It’ll be okay. No. Please don’t cry.” Sirius said upon feeling the first drop.

This only made Remus cry harder. His body lurched forward as the first sob wrecked through it. Sirius immediately changed his position until Remus was curled into his lap. The scent of Sirius’s leather jacket combined with the faint smell of coffee that always seemed to linger around the boy helped Remus calm down slowly. As he tried to stop the tears, Sirius started to slowly comb his fingers through Remus’s golden brown locks.

“You okay?” Sirius asked eventually.

“No. Yes. I-I don’t know.” Remus stuttered.

Words tumbled out of Sirius mouth: “I’m sorry. You do know that right? I wish I could just turn back the time and change the entire thing. But I can’t. And I’m so sorry.”

Remus turned his head to look at Sirius for the first time. His black hair was in a half bun, which greatly helped in making Remus feel better. “Don’t apologise. We’ve talked about this. Yes, you made a mistake.”

“An unforgivably stupid mistake.” Sirius interrupted him.

Remus ignored him and kept talking. “But this mistake is not unforgivable. Not when it’s you. You’re my best friend.” Remus ignored the disgusting way the words felt in his mouth. _Best friend._ It shouldn’t feel weird. It used to fill him with happiness to know he had such a good friend. But it didn’t cut it. Not anymore. Not that it mattered. He would never ruin this friendship by telling Sirius this.

For the second time that evening, Sirius interrupted Remus’s thoughts. “But why did you run away? You know we won’t let him get away with it. Lily hexed him before Jamie and me could even try and punch the git.”

 _Of course she did._ The thought of the small yet frighteningly fierce redhead hexing Snape was enough to finally bring back a slight grin on Remus’s face.

“See? That’s much better. Are you sure that’s all though Rem? You’ve been acting a bit out of it lately...” Sirius trailed off.

“Me? No, no. Nothing. I’m fine.” Remus mumbled.

“Oh, don’t try me with that bullshit. Something’s wrong. Just tell me. Please.” Sirius pressed.

Looking up at the other boy, Remus finally caved. “It’s just, I’ve just been feeling kind of weird lately. Like, different than everyone else. And I hate it. I want to just be able to feel normal for once.”

“Rem, I’m very happy you’re not normal. Would be boring otherwise.” Sirius said.

“No, not like that. You and James are just so social. Everyone likes you guys. I’m this weird kid with social anxiety and tons of scars. Which is fine for people like Pete, who are daft enough to end up being funny. But that’s not the case, I’m just awkward.” Remus continued.

Sirius tightened his hold on Remus in an attempt to comfort him.

“And that. That’s another thing. You guys are all so effortlessly affectionate. I mean, you give hugs to people all the time, like it’s nothing. It goes so easy for all of you. But I just can’t bring myself to do that. I get panic attacks from the idea of being near to people. I get awkward every single time someone steps within like a five feet radius of me.” Remus finally ended his ramble.

“But I’ve been holding you for the past hour or so. And you’ve been totally fine.” Sirius countered.

Remus sighed. “Yes. It’s you. I’ve gotten used to you constantly invading my personal space. You’ve been doing so for the past five years. Besides, you make it feel natural.”

Sirius interrupted him. “And that, my dearest Moony, is where you’re wrong. Sure, it feels natural now. But it doesn’t always. It depends from person to person. And it took me quite some time for it to feel like that. When I first came to Hogwarts, I was deadly terrified of physical contact. Thanks to my awesome parents, the only contact I knew was violent. It took James most of first year to get me to loosen up. He is such an incredible sap that I just adopted his huggy disposition. You don’t know that since you were too shy to even allow us to become your friends at first. But trust me, I’ve been there. Besides, you don’t have to be a hug-person. You make sure we’re perfectly in balance.”

Remus started blushing at that last sentence. “I didn’t know that. Well, I knew your family was the worst. I’m just really glad you don’t have to live with them anymore. Summer break was a lot more fun without having to worry about you.”

“It was the best decision I’ve made so far. Plus James’s parents are amazing. Glad to hear you worried about me though.” Sirius added with a flirty grin.

Remus elbowed Sirius lightly. “Oh, sod off you idiot. Of course I worried. I do care about you, you know.”

“Of course you do. How could one possibly live without these outrageously good looks.” Sirius said while flipping his hair over his shoulder.

Remus rolled his eyes. “Don’t be a prat.”

“Also, about what you said before. No one thinks you’re weird. People love you. You’re kind, helpful and one of the smartest people I know. And you may be clumsy but you’re cute so it doesn’t matter.” Sirius said casually.

Remus stopped breathing. _Did he just call me cute? No, he must’ve meant something else. He doesn’t like me, not like that._ Remus knew Sirius was bisexual of course, but he hadn’t dared hope. Until he called him cute, that is. _Would it really be possible that he liked me?_

“Rem? You alright?” Sirius asked, looking concerned.

Remus realised he had been staring at him with his mouth open. _Oh god, totally blew me chances now. Surely doesn’t like me now._

Sirius laughed. “What did you say?”

“Oh no, I said that out loud, didn’t I?” Remus asked horrified. “Why am I like this. Just keep your mouth shut for one damn second you idiot.”

Sirius was practically rolling on the floor at this point. “Afraid so, mate.” He managed between bouts of laughter.

“I’m so sorry. Just forget this happened. I’ll leave.” Remus stumbled over his feet while trying to get away.

Sirius grabbed his arm and pulled him down to sit next to him. “You’re kidding right. You just pretty much admitted you liked me. Why in Merlin’s name would I want to forget that?”

“But you never showed any sign of liking me.” Remus said dumbfounded.

“Rem, you’re truly blind. I just called you cute. Besides, I may be a flirt but do you really think I’d let James lay in my lap? Never wondered why I go to your bed when I have nightmares?” Sirius asked.

Now that he thought about it. Sirius did indeed only ever seem to come to Remus. And he did hug him quite a bit more lately.

“I thought I was the one with the unrequited feelings.” Sirius admitted.

“But like, you’re you. You’re gorgeous and elegant. I’m the opposite.” Remus said waving a hand over his scars.

“Stop being so dramatic, Remus. You’re hot. Now come here.” Sirius said before pulling Remus even closer.

Before he could fully register what was happening, Sirius had pressed his soft lips against Remus’s chapped ones.  
_Is this really happening? Is this a dream?_ Remus wondered for a second before closing his eyes and leaning in. After what could’ve been seconds or hours. They finally pulled apart.

“Did that convince you that I’m not joking around about this?” Sirius asked.

Remus shook his head, trying to clear it. “Yeah, that was. Um, that was great.”

Sirius smiled at the dazed look on Remus’s face. “So I guess this means you’ll go out with me? To Hogsmeade, next weekend?”

Remus couldn’t answer out of pure shock.

“Maybe?” Sirius added after a few seconds of silence. “I mean we don’t have to. I get it if you want to take it slow. You know, keep it between us.” A tinge of doubt and fear seeped through in his last words.

Remus finally found his voice again. “No, that’d be amazing! I’d really love that.”

They both smiled at each other happily.

“So should we go down to the others or…?” Sirius trailed off.

“Nah, let’s just stay here for a little longer. Don’t want to deal with James’ excitement just yet.” Remus answered.

“Fair enough. I can think of a few things to pass the time.” Sirius said before pulling Remus in again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading this.  
> Please feel free to give constructive criticism!


End file.
